Nothing More, Nothing Less

At Compassion Philippines' Christmas party last month, Kuya Toyditz shared this beautiful prayer by Elizabeth Elliot (see photo below) in her book "Keep A Quiet Heart" (which I sooo loved since I got my copy 10 years ago. But that is another story!):

Lord, we give You thanks
For all that You in Your mercy
Have given us
To be and to do and to have.
Deliver us, Lord, from all greed to be
And to do and to have anything
Not in accord with Your Holy purposes.
Teach us to rest quietly
In Your promise to supply
Recognizing that if we don’t have it
We don’t need it.
Teach us to desire Your will –
Nothing more, nothing less and nothing else.
For Jesus’ sake. Amen.

Truly, there has to be more to life than the pursuit of happiness, or possessions, or achievement, or friendship, deeper relationship, or wisdom, or experience for that matter.

I find that the search for meaning fades where the search for God begins. Its a fine line I find myself crossing time and again, like I do now. I am comfortable with that, because it signifies a continuing dialogue between my Maker and I.

I believe this is the essence of this Sabbatical Year exercise for me: to be drawn, reaffirmed, redirected to my ultimate anchor. By His grace may I come out pursuing only His WILL -- nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only one seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

John 12:24

the devil wears prada

Lately, Rio's bedtime reading has been "Mangga Messiah", a gift she received from Tito Ram last year. It is the New Testament in amazingly cool Japanese anime.

On Tuesday she got to the story of the healing of the demon-possessed man from Gadarene and saw something that really upset her.

"Eeeee! Mama! Bakit lalaki si Satanas dito sa drowing?!?! Mali ito!"

[What do you mean, anak...]

Lalaki kasi siya dito, e di ba babae si Satanas?

[Anudaw? Aaaa...bat mo naman nasabing babae siya?]

E di ba nga siya ang PINAKAMAGANDA sa lahat ng angels? E di babae siya!

[May powent ka, anak. Hmmm...e ganyan talaga madalas idrowing ng mga tao ang devil, palaging lalaki...Pero sa pagkakaalam ko hindi siya babae o lalaki kasi hindi naman siya tao...]

Ah...e kung nagkatawang tao Siya? Lalake ba siya o babae?

[Hindi ko din po alam e, kasi wala pa akong nabalitaang nagkatawang tao siya.]

Aha! Siguro nga lalaki siya kung sakali, kasi si Jesus lalaki nung nagkatawang tao.

[pwede ba mag call-a-friend?]

Body and Soul

Classes have resumed. As if to signal my re-entry into AIM, I have been experiencing terrible bouts of migrane since day one. I passed out Monday night, while on my way to hail a cab. If not for Aleem (bless you!) who took me back to AIM dorm to rest, the sweet ladies from MDM (Mercy, Mia, Huan Shan) and MBA (Rosie) who became my instant nurses and dalaws, and of course Murty who made sure got home after recuperating, I don't know how I would have ended.

The next two days I missed a couple of classes, due to the recurring attacks. Even when I was feeling better, classmates were telling me I looked sick (veins were "poping out" my forehead) and must really follow the doctor's advise to go through a complete bloodwork. Honestly, the gestures of concern were better medicines than any pain reliever.

Learning of my condition, a friend who was in the Philippines for just two weeks vehemently insisted (and arranged) that I go for a Thai massage, saying it may be due to stress (it partly was, to be sure). So anyway, this treat at a wellness center in Tomas-Morato was another welcome "cure".

To cap it all, Tata (Rommel) came home two days ahead of schedule, to make sure I was ok.

Receiving care from a loving community does not exempt me from the need to go through medical procedures. But it surely does make the recovery as holistic as it can get.

Jehovah Rapah (God the Healer) has an army of medical practitioners and caregivers, I realize. Most of them are within arm's reach -- faster than any ambulance, better than any state-of-the art care.

Aligando (Galikin!)

Masantos tan mablin oras
So inter na Diyos lawas
Umbangon tayon misalamat
Umbangon tayon misalamat
Ta inianac lay Dios Anac
Ta inianac lay Dios Anac

Galikin, galikin kapastoresan
Gali kayon, gali kayon manangigalang
Ed Ari ray, ed Ari ra'y catauaenan
Diad Belen so nianacan
Diad Belen so nianacan!

Last night a group of old folks (seven of them, between 50 to 70 in age) came by to sing this traditional Pangasinan Christmas carol (normally sung between January 2 to 6). It is something similar to the Pasyon chanted during lent, except that instead of telling about Jesus' life and suffering, it narrates in many stanzas the events surrounding and leading to Jesus' birth.

The chorus bids everyone to "come...to give respect...the King of Kings...born in a manger."

Regretfully I only know one verse and the famous chorus. I hope to teach Rio once I found the lyrics (wait...found it online, great!). She enjoyed listening to it (although she tugged my elbow after every line for translation)-- she even went to the next house to listen again!

The Art of Being Misunderstood

Four months in grad school (may have) provided my most valuable lesson for the year --- the art of being misunderstood.

Coming to AIM on such short finances earned me differing reviews: crazy, brave, faithful, careless, courageous, carefree, unwise, obedient, stubborn. Suffice it to say that to date all these labels are still hanging around waiting to pounce on me once an "i-told-you-so" moment presents itself.
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Well, baby, the situation in the classroom and around it is not entirely different.
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Be a female, be misunderstood. Be young, be misunderstood. Be Filipino, be misunderstood. Be a foreigner, be misunderstood. Talk much, be misunderstood. Talk little, be misunderstood. Be nice, be misunderstood. Be naughty, be misunderstood.

And so on and so on and so on.
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Perhaps this is what we pay so much for, in institutes of higher learning such as AIM. To learn this delicate art. Making a difference at the risk (and certainty) of being misunderstood.
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Be Rizal. Be misunderstood.

Be Mother Theresa. Be misunderstood.

Be Gandhi. Be misunderstood.

Be Princess Di. Be misunderstood.

Be Benazir. Be misunderstood.

Be Jesus. Be misunderstood.
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Go ahead and make a difference, anyway.
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Understood?