Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

9.10.2010

Live life! Don't keep your love HIDDEN AWAY.


HIDDEN AWAY
(Josh Groban / Click to Watch or Download mp3)

Over mountains and sky-blue seas
On great circles
Where you watch for me
The sweetest feeling
I've got inside
I just cant wait to get lost in your eyes

And all these words
That you meant to say
Held in silence
Day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them hidden away

Sing it out
So I can finally breathe in
I can take in all you're saying
Holding out for something I believe in
All I really need today

I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart
Hidden away

You're a wonder
How bright you shine
A flickered candle
In a short lifetime
(A) secret dreamer that never shows
If no one sees you
Then nobody knows

And all these words
You were meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them hidden away

Sing it out
So I can finally breathe in
I can take in all you're saying
Reaching out for someone I believe in
All I really need today

I want to feel your love
Will you reveal your love
Please don't keep your love
Hidden away

I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart
Hidden away

8.11.2009

Historical

"Mama, makasaysayan na pala ako, kasi sumama ako sa burol ni President Cory."

(Si Rio, habang pinapanuod na sa TV ang mga huling kaganapan sa Manila Memorial.)

Tama naman, dahil tayo din ang gumagawa ng kasaysayan. Sana makabuluhan ang ating iwan gaya ni Tita Cory.

Salamat, Tita Cory.


This small yellow banner was tied to my head. Rommel wore a Cory shirt, Rio had a yellow balloon, and I some yellow beaded bracelets. Yellow was the new black, as in mourning. But yellow has also become the new green, a symbol of hope for the Philippines.

Only selected guests were allowed inside the Manila Cathedral for the final funeral mass. It did not matter. Crowds of people still went to pay respect. Some on top of the adjacent buildings, others in front of the church. We chose to stay connected through a big screen in the parking lot just outside. Rain was heavily pouring and typhoon Kiko's angry wind was pounding on our umbrellas. The rain-gears were quite useless, and we would end up drenched in tears anyway. Walang kaso.

When Lea Salonga sung Bayan Ko, we were singing just as loud.

It was a sad yet heartwarming day. Some friends from Canada, US and Malaysia were texting me -- they were watching from TFC or CNN. One asked me to sign on the message wall on his behalf. Indeed, even in death Tita Cory united the Filipinos around the world.

May this national awakening be a reminder to us all to guard our freedom and exercise our responsibilities. May it drive those who abuse power to humble themselves in repentance and seek real transformation. A long shot, but nothing is impossible.

1993 to 2009 -- a life well-lived. Thank God for you, Tita Cory.

4.09.2009

NAGANAP NA.


Tuldok.
Wakas ng nakahahapong
pagpupumiglas, pakikibaka;
Pait ng damdaming
Hindi bumibitaw.

Paghupa.
Pananahimik at pagsuko
Sa di maikakailang
Katotohanan ng
pagkakaganap sa naitakda.

Natupad na.
Ikutin man bawat sulok,
Halughugin bawat dulo,
Himayin bawat hibla;
Hindi makakasumpong ng
dahilan upang ipagpatuloy ang:

- pagkataong tinatalikuran
- mapagpanggap na kabutihan
- hinanakit na dinuduyan
- pag-aatubili, takot, kabalisahan.

Naganap na.
Kalayaan.
Tunay,
Buo,
Sapat,
Para sa Iyo.
Ngayon.

Tenebrae Service

Lenten Retreat & Tenebrae Service
April 8, 2009
Sambahay Retreat House, East Fairview Quezon City

MORNING REFLECTIONS:
Seven prayer stations were set up according to the seven last words of Christ(with cloths, lit candles, symbols, icons, and images related to the passage). With some guidance we were allowed time for personal reflection til lunch.

IT IS FINISHED.
Why do I try so hard?
No need to perform.
No need to flee.
No reason for doubt.
No room for despair.
No need to rush so much.
Or prove so much.
It is finished,
By God's love
On the cross.
Period.
Just be.

AFTERNOON MOVIE:
Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ".
Three scenes that resonated with me, as per this viewing:
a) Christ standing up again after the first round of whipping. I wish he feigned passing out or something. It was too much. But, he was like a sheep brought to the slaughter. And endured every single agony and pain.
b) Mary's heartache as a mother.
c) Christ's face in the resurrection (last frame). After hours of gory bloody details of torture scenes to the crucifixion, the contrast of the clean face vividly captures our new hope. Christ was victorious. We are, too.

EVENING TENEBRAE [latin: shadows] SERVICE.
I came out of this community refelection in silence and darkness. Carried in my heart a glimpse of the sacrifice Christ had to go through, for me.

12.28.2008

Breakfast in Bed

Rio woke up to a beautiful sunrise at the Nambus' attic, the morning after a sumptuous dinner and a night of fun, laughter, and warm friendship with this family. I said to whisper her prayers before coming down for breakfast. She came back to me with a throw pillow in hand, pointing at the Christmas wreath printed over it.

"Mama, this is my devotion today" and she explained away.


The big bow represents the Father (ribbon), Son (bells), and the Holy Spirit (tassels).
The green leaves around are symbols for nature and the whole creation of God.
The apples represent the fruits in the Garden where Adam and Eve were. The ones on the right they were allowed to eat. This on the upper left corner was forbidden but they ate it anyway so they sinned.
The ribbon circling all around is God's love embracing us even though we are sinners.
The red berries are symbols for the blood of Christ who died for our sins.
The lemons mean we are "cleaned" by God from our sins.
(This came as an afterthought, one day later.)
In and around the long ribbon are dots -- those within the ribbon are persons who now belong to Jesus, those outside are people who still do not know Him.
The pine cones mean "Kahit na mahirap o maliit ang katayuan mo o dinadanas mo sa buhay at maraming problema, dapat hindi mo paniwalaang ganoon din ang relasyong ninyo ng Diyos. Mas malaki Siya kaysa sa iyong kinatatayuan ngayon."
Blue background means heaven.


My smile is now brighter than the sunlight flooding the room. No doubt, this is the best Christmas breakfast I ever had.

Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength,
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.
Psalm 8:2


10.15.2008

Nakindatan ka na ba ng pusa?!?!?


Ito si Kapitan.

Siya ang dahilan kaya ako ngayon ay nagpapakain ng pitong pusa. Samantalang noong bagong lipat kami dito, araw-araw ibang strategy ang sinubukan para lamang huwag makapasok sa kusina ang mga pusa(kal) na ito. Tuwing umaga kasi kinakalkal nila ang aming basura(!).

Hanggang isang araw, kami ay nagwagi. Sa wakas. O yun ang akala ko. Nang hindi na sila makapasok, nakikisilip na lang sila sa aming bintana. Kaya minsang nakatitig siya, aba nakititig din ako. At sa hindi inaasahan, ako ay kanyang --- tama ka --- kinindatan! Sa buong buhay ko ngayon ko lang nalaman na marunong palang kumindat ang pusa.

Niweys, fast forward ... dahil sa isang kindat na yon, isinuko ko ang batalan. Sige na nga, friends na tayo. Ha?!? O siya pati mga friends mo friends ko na rin (demanding ka ha).

At doon nga nagsimula ang isang panibagong relasyon.

Hmp. Pero bawal ka pa rin sa bahay ko ha. Pinag-iisipan ko pa. Kaya mula ngayon, sa bubong tayo magtatagpo. Doon kayo kakain, intiende?

At yun na. Bow. (Err.. Meow.)

8.01.2008

Graduation Newsletter

Dear friend,

God’s grace and faithfulness are truly amazing! I am happy to let you know that I successfully finished the Master in Development Management Program from the Asian Institute of Management on July 11, 2008.
My family would like to thank you for all your prayer and support for the past 11 months.
My Sabbath Year ends this month, and I am so glad that I acted on the Lord’s prompting to take the year off for rest, retooling, and redirection. It was a time of exposure to development activities within the Asian region, intensive multicultural experience, and a truly remarkable encounter with the Father who supplied our needs according to His riches.
What’s next? To be honest, I have no definite answer except to say that I am waiting on the Lord. What I shall do for the longer term remains a matter of continuous discernment for the family. So, if you could please continue to pray with us, the following are the apparent options for me (in random order):
a) Full-time consultancy;
b) Employment with an INGO;
c) Resume ministry with Compassion International.

Meanwhile, I do consultancy with four nonprofit organizations, helping out with community-based project management and training.

We are blessed to have you part of our network of supporters. Once again, thank you for coming alongside us in this journey, and do let us know how we can pray for you, too!

Much love from our family to yours,
Jing

7.15.2008

MRR Acknowledgment

A major requirement to finish Masters in Development Management was the writing of an MRR (Management Research Report). Mine was a "Strategy for Compassion International - Philippine's Expansion to Indigenous People Groups". I wish to share the acknowledgment page to honor all of you who supported, inspired, and encouraged me through my MRR in particular and my studies at AIM in general:

The following were instrumental in the completion of this MRR, the fulfillment of my other MDM requirements, and the realization of a Sabbatical Year that was better than I have hoped for:

My advisers Prof. Sol Hernando, Prof. Tony Perez, and Prof. Nieves Confesor, for the words of guidance, challenge, and affirmation, and for allowing me time when I most needed it;

Our professors from all three modules, who facilitated my learning of tools, skills, and perspectives on management and leadership;

Associate Dean Mayo Lopez and the CDM staff who inspired me to learn, live, and laugh; Ms. Chinks, saludo ako sa ‘yo, as in! Also, AIM security, maintenance, and support staff whose friendliness and efficiency assured me from day one that I came to the right institution;

MDM Class of 2008, sige, sige! I am nine countries richer because of your friendship. Kapwa Pinoys Pipo, Kat, Father Kim, Father Dex, Bambi and Lei – sa damayan chuvaness; KISS’D Learning Team (CL, Mercy, Huyen, Murty, Al, Akbar, Dil) – it was one amazing roller-coaster ride! I would do it all over again with you guys, no doubt about that; Shanaz, you became my MRR “buddy” whether you realized it or not; Twin, you are worth all the green teas in the world;

Compassion International family for your blessings, prayer, and encouragement: CMT, NACS, LDP students and alumni who kept sending encouraging SMS, all staff, SINGLES, WIVES, my guarantors Wonz and Vy for sticking your necks out, Kuya Toyditz and Ate Manet Cosico for the consistent advisory support from beginning to end of my study;

NAVpeeps: Ram, Jean, Charm, Grace, Trins, Roovin, Maela, Faith, Aleks, Shebs, KJaims – our Wednesday night meetings have kept my sanity; Gracey, thanks ading for going over my work despite your busy-ness; also,all the menises who kept in touch - thankee!;

Friends and loved ones here and overseas who supported me with resources and prayers at various times during the past 11 months, especially Ate Care, Ricci, Mai, Marlon & Elaine, DCBC family & council, young couples fellowship, Student Center family: Kuya Caloy at mga anakis Mark, Jan, Junjun, Joy, Malyn, D-na, Jojee; Kuya Rico & Ate Menchit Wong, pareng Dan, Kuya Ed & Ate Page Cvelich, my dearest Faye;

Ading ko ra: Margs, Bhynes, Edison, Tet, JR and their families, Nanay & my in-laws, for the generous support and understanding; Tita Tet, for the loving assistance to Rio while I was away, and for helping me de-stress;

Dad, thank you for believing in me and for the timely financial support; Mom, you have taught by example that relationship matters as much as results – I had to draw from that wisdom many times in my stay at AIM;

My husband Rommel and daughter Rio Gabrielle – because of your love I have nothing to prove.

You are all an affirmation that God has been with me in this journey. His Name be praised!

5.30.2008

celebrating a beautiful disaster

Yesterday Rommel and I turned 9. What started as a beautiful disaster (read: hilarious wedding, which I plan to write about after MRR defense week!) is still going strong. Still disastrous, still beautiful, marriage.

We celebrated by dining out (courtesy of a friend's gift) at Kamay Kainan in Trinoma (QC), an eat-all-you can chain featuring all Pinoy food. We were planning on Banana Leaf, but found they had no branch here, and we didn't feel like walking to the other mall. Rio was happy with the news, because KK is her favoritEST place.

As we were savoring our third trip to the buffet table (by this time we were onto the seafoods: Guinataang Kuhol, Tahong Soup, Inihaw na Tilapia, Mangga't Bagoong, Tempura, Sinigang na Hipon, Pritong Alimasag) we played a game of You-can-ask-what-you-want-from-mama-&-papa, obviously with a single player. Rio's queries revolved mostly on dating stuff. This one was a winner: Since you are now married 9 years, what are 9 things you love about each other?

Knowing Rio, each one of course had to be backed up by example, but am not writing that here for fear of turning the place mushy. With burps and chews in between:

Mama'a answer
Papa is...
1. Guwapo
2. Thoughtful
3. Funny
4. Hardworking
5. Matulungin sa kapwa
6. Masarap magluto
7. Willing to sacrifice
8. Wise decision-maker
9. Loving

Papa's answer:
Mama is...
1. Maganda
[Cheh! gaya-gaya hehe ...]
2. Matapang
3. Thoughtful
4. Patient
5. Smart
6. Malambing
7. Understanding
8. Hindi madamot sa kapwa
9. Loving

We are too caught up with the routines in life, it takes a little child to help us remember these things sometimes.

Thank you, Rio. You gave us the best Anniversary reflection, in addition to the awesome hand-made album you made especially for this day. We love you, baby.

1.31.2008

Nothing More, Nothing Less

At Compassion Philippines' Christmas party last month, Kuya Toyditz shared this beautiful prayer by Elizabeth Elliot (see photo below) in her book "Keep A Quiet Heart" (which I sooo loved since I got my copy 10 years ago. But that is another story!):

Lord, we give You thanks
For all that You in Your mercy
Have given us
To be and to do and to have.
Deliver us, Lord, from all greed to be
And to do and to have anything
Not in accord with Your Holy purposes.
Teach us to rest quietly
In Your promise to supply
Recognizing that if we don’t have it
We don’t need it.
Teach us to desire Your will –
Nothing more, nothing less and nothing else.
For Jesus’ sake. Amen.


Truly, there has to be more to life than the pursuit of happiness, or possessions, or achievement, or friendship, deeper relationship, or wisdom, or experience for that matter.

I find that the search for meaning fades where the search for God begins. Its a fine line I find myself crossing time and again, like I do now. I am comfortable with that, because it signifies a continuing dialogue between my Maker and I.

I believe this is the essence of this Sabbatical Year exercise for me: to be drawn, reaffirmed, redirected to my ultimate anchor. By His grace may I come out pursuing only His WILL -- nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

1.03.2008

The Art of Being Misunderstood


Four months in grad school (may have) provided my most valuable lesson for the year --- the art of being misunderstood.

Coming to AIM on such short finances earned me differing reviews: crazy, brave, faithful, careless, courageous, carefree, unwise, obedient, stubborn. Suffice it to say that to date all these labels are still hanging around waiting to pounce on me once an "i-told-you-so" moment presents itself.
----
Well, baby, the situation in the classroom and around it is not entirely different.
----
Be a female, be misunderstood. Be young, be misunderstood. Be Filipino, be misunderstood. Be a foreigner, be misunderstood. Talk much, be misunderstood. Talk little, be misunderstood. Be nice, be misunderstood. Be naughty, be misunderstood.

And so on and so on and so on.
----
Perhaps this is what we pay so much for, in institutes of higher learning such as AIM. To learn this delicate art. Making a difference at the risk (and certainty) of being misunderstood.
----
Be Rizal. Be misunderstood.

Be Mother Theresa. Be misunderstood.

Be Gandhi. Be misunderstood.

Be Princess Di. Be misunderstood.

Be Benazir. Be misunderstood.

Be Jesus. Be misunderstood.
-----
Go ahead and make a difference, anyway.
-----
Understood?

12.28.2007

The Colors of Blessing (7 in '07)


On Christmas day we decided to make an artwork as a thanksgiving for 2007. Rommel listed down what needed to go in the thing, Rio took care of the drawings and I, well, made the border (lil stick figures)-- fun, fun, fun! This colorful masterpiece actually represents seven of our major faith encounters for the year (the "minors" would number a million).

R.A.I.N.B.O.W. of blessings, indeed!

R - etreat: We were blessed to experience and enjoy the Caliraya Recreation Center in Laguna, the Peninsula de Punta Fuego in Nasugbu, Batangas and Fort Ilocandia in Laoag City (for free)!


A - llergy-free. Rommel has recuperated from chronic allergy, just at the right time when we needed to cut on budget. More than the financial relief, we were grateful for the end of his painful ordeals with the needle everytime he visited the dermatologist.


I - t's a Party! Rio celebrated her 7th birthday this year. Family and friends are her greatest gifts from God!


N - ew school - Rio's transition into her new school (Neo-vision School) was easier that we imagined, thanks to friendly faculty and schoolmates! But before that, summer was doubly fun as she joined Trumpet's acting workshop, sponsored by Promil!


B - ack to school! I took the Sabbath year off work to get a master's degree at AIM --- the biggest leap of faith for us this year.


O - pportunities for growth! We are glad to have been involved in a study group for young couples, a weekly care group with the UP Diliman Navigators alumni, the DCBC Youth for my sister Matet, and continuous service opportunity as houseparents to the DCBC Student Center. Growing in faith through different communities have helped us go through a challenging year.


W - elcome to the family! The latest addition to the growing clan is PJ (Paul Jeremiah), who tied the knot with my sister Marjorie in December.


PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

9.02.2007

Silent Retreat

I just came from a 2-day silent retreat (Cliffside, Tagaytay City). This is my second time of similar experience (the first one was 9 years ago at another retreat house in the same city).

The rule is simple. Although I came with a group, we are not to talk to each other. Not on meals, not on hallways, not even on washrooms. No reading, no SMS, no music. We convene 3X a day and that's the only time we get to hear music or Scriptures being read out, or exhortation from the leader.

The first thing I did was slept. The three hours felt like three days of slumber. One participant later described her experience as being gently rocked on a hammock. Mine was like sleeping in a floating boat.

The only sound I hear were the crickets, or birds, or the mighty winds rushing through the forest on the surrounding mountains, or other creatures I do not recognize.

Interestingly I may not have heard my own voice, but inside me was so LOUD. Thoughts, feelings, songs, questions rushing here and there as if I was in the middle of a busy Cubao intersection. Zing! Zing! Zing!

It was not until later that I started to calm down, and while walking in one of the prayer areas I "heard" these messages:

1. From the enchanting chorus of forest sounds (crickets mostly): "I know every single one of these creatures. And I care for them. I know every single experience you are going through. And I love you. Anyway. All the way."

2. From a plant stem, which caught my curiosity because it had no leaves, unlike those around it, but it was still standing tall. Touching it I realized it was already hollow. As I traced it, turned out to be hollow all the way down until at some point it was "alive again", and then connected to the main trunk. Could it be that I was like this plant? At some point I was already "hollow" but it the eyes of many I was still preforming, standing. Thank you Lord for reminding me before it gets too late. Slightly beneath the part that was still alive, I saw a budding shoot. Hope. That is me right now. Perhaps taking this Sabbath I am treading will take me to this new growth.

3. The birds and the bees. This is the longest time in my whole life spent on watching bees gathering nectars from a bunch of flowers. "I do this to you a lot, child. Just gazing in wonder and love and delight."

God is here. It is I who was absent.

The spiritual director says, in a retreat like this it normally takes you three days to settle. And then you can hear, with your senses: sight, sounds, feelings. I haven't got that time, but I did get a foretaste. I am looking forward to my next time off.

Meanwhile, I made sure to "capture" some of that peaceful spot, and keep it in my heart. I think I will need to come back to it more often than I think.